Date : Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Time : 1:28 PM

Title : feeling lousy...

im feeling so lousy rite nw.. ........................................................................
he dun wan me go clubb.. nvm...... ...................................
i ask him so he meetin me??.. .................................................
he sae i gg clubbn how to meet......... .................. ...............
afta tat i feel so losuy.......... ......................
lyk he is blaming me.. .......... but he used to sae... .............." thru sms how u noe wad tone im using.. .........." so i dowan to come up wif my conclusion tat he is blamin me.. .............................................. or m i suppose to think tat way.. ?? ...........

i alrdy told a few of my clubbn forum fren tat im meetin them... .............. but i jus told them i nt gg 2nite le... .................. sian....................................

he called me....... ................ sae... " go clubbn lor... dun lata sae i bully u.........." how m i suppose to go?? .............. haix.. or shuld i realli jus go...................... ............................................. *bleah*... realli no mood ahh.......... .................. everything jus sux................. nth is rite for me 2dae..........................................................

jus feel that recently we are soo far apart........ ........................... feeling insecurity.............. ....................... mayb its jus stress... " tho i dun realli belive tat i get stressed eva b4... " .................................. mayb i shuld jus think that im stressed.. ............... pple think working where gt stress.......... .......................................... ya.. working no stress.. ............... oni human = me............ get stress................................. ahhh... i jus hope tat one fine dae i wake up to see another side of this ugly world........... ............................................ ................................. one dae.. he will sae.. come lets go clubbn... two dae... he sae... come i carry ur bag for u.... 3 dae.. he will sae.. dar lets go shopping.. ............. 4 dae.. he will sae.. dar u tired ma?? i carry u on my back........ 5 dae.. he will sae.. dun worri... i will support wadeva decisions u make.. 6 dae.. he will sae..... dar i prepared sth nice for u.. ............. 7 dae.. he will sae... dar, remb u once asked wad will be the most romantic thing i will do for u?? ...

bt i noe.. none of them will come true.. so y m i still tgt wif him?? mayb cos i still love him?? or has it become a habit where i dowan to change... i m tired of my close ones leaving me one by one.. as in close frens.. nt relative or wad.. frens owaiz change.. bt my feelings cnt... i hate the feelin of loneliness.. yet i dun mind being alone at times..

pple owaiz take me for granted cos i dun grumble.. i dun rebuke them.. i dun mind helpin.. bt dun make it seem lyk im there for u.. so u mus maxi the use of me.. dun oni think of me when its oni ur last resort.. i may be happy-go-lucky... bt i do tings seriously too... ..... i may seem blur.. its bcos i dowan to noe too much.. i dowan to hurt myself in the end.... .........

dun think u noe me vry well cos u hv read my feelings in my blog.. ........... nt 100% is realli true when afta i posted dis blog up....... .. it may jus b a moment of fiq tat i sae those things.. ...................... so dun be so HL n sae oh i noe wad type of person u are...... ty..